Patience

Patience

Ephesians 4:1-3

            “Lord, give me patience, and I want it now!”

            I don’t know about you, but that has been my thought—if not my prayer—far too often over the years.  I am not by nature a patient person.  I want what I want when I want it.  I’m not good at waiting.

            As I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to realize the need for more patience when I drive.  I know my reflexes aren’t as sharp as they once were, and even though I drive a pickup truck with a large eight-cylinder engine, I can’t always make it through those openings in traffic as I used to—and shouldn’t have tried even when my reflexes were better.

            So I pray.  Every morning during my devotions I visualize the general route I’ll be taking that day and ask God for patience.  I think it’s working.  At least that knot in my stomach isn’t as big when I get behind a driver whose concept of proper speed is slower than mine.

            But I know this is only the beginning.  There are many other areas of my life where I need to increase my patience quotient.  Conversations is one of the big ones.  I become disturbed when I realize the person I’m talking to isn’t really listening.  Instead he’s already framing his response to what I’m saying.  While this most often happens in a heated discussion (argument?) it can also occur in one of those exchanges of stories where people are trying to get to know each other better. 

You know how it works.  I tell you a story, then you tell me one, then it’s my turn again, and so on.  You can tell by the look in the other person’s eyes if she’s listening to your story or trying to come up with one that will match or top yours.  I become very unhappy when I sense this happening—until I realize that I’m doing the same thing back.  Oh, the horror of seeing our sins in others!

John Dewey said, “The most useful virtue is patience.”  Good salespersons know this.  They’ll let you take infinite time to make up your mind.  They try to get you to sell yourself rather than talk you into making a decision.  When I find myself working with someone like this I’m inclined to buy more, because I feel I’m being listened to and not rushed.  We once bought two cars from such a salesman, when we only intended to buy one.

I suspect our natural inclination is toward impatience.  Whatever we’re doing, we want to get it done so we can move on to our next task, our next project—even our next pleasure.  The alternative, the truly patient person must be trained—or train himself.  I remember watching a man change a watch battery for me.  He moved so slowly and carefully I knew he was taking the same infinite care with that simple task as he would have repairing the most expensive watch.  The fact that his patience drove me crazy was my problem, not his. 

Paul does not appear to have been a patient person.  He seems to have been much more a man of action than of repose.  But now he finds himself imprisoned.  He was under house arrest; he couldn’t go out.  He had to wait for people to come to him.  He had to learn to be content in quarters far more cramped than the vast expanse of the Gentile world he was used to roaming during his missionary journeys.  Yet here he is encouraging his friends in Ephesus to walk, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…”  That must have been learned behavior for him.  But it is sound advice.

Someone once said, “God gave everyone patience.  Wise people use it.”  Wise counsel indeed.