Torn

Torn

Romans 7:14-25

            “If the world was merely seductive, that would be easy.  If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem.  But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.”

            E.B. White must have been channeling Paul when he wrote these words.  This is the same dilemma Paul describes in today’s reading from Romans.  Only the words are different, reflecting the times in which they were written, and the personal style of the author.

            We understand this dilemma because we share it.  Like Paul and White, we’re caught between two desires—two laws Paul says—one positive and one negative.  We want with all our heart to do the right thing.  We want to follow God’s law in our “inner beings.”  We want to meet the challenge of improving the world.  We desire—we aim—to do good.  But too often something gets in the way.

            That something is the desire to enjoy the world, to obey the law of sin.  And it can be seductive—not merely seductive, but overwhelmingly so.  Paul puts it this way: “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.”  Evil does not just lie close at hand; evil does everything possible to block our efforts to do what we know we should.

            At the beginning of this passage we see Paul’s pain.  He doesn’t understand his own actions.  He doesn’t do what he wants.  Instead he does “the very thing I hate.”  He has “the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.”  He recognizes that even though he has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, even though he has committed his life to the service of Jesus Christ, sin continues to dwell within him and influence his actions.

            A word is in order about Paul’s references to the flesh.  We often interpret this word too narrowly.  Paul includes various forms of licentiousness in his lists of sins, and we think of these as sins of the flesh, whether those sins are of a sexual nature, or overindulging in strong drink, or giving in to any other habit that indicates we are captives of worldly desires.

            A list of sins of the flesh would certainly include sexual sins and other forms of licentiousness, but would also include any habit that attracts one to, as E.B. White would say, the “desire to enjoy the world.”  When you read Paul’s lists of sins, be sure to read to the end.  You’ll find yourself in there somewhere.

            Both Paul and White remind us that we can never (in this life) escape the dilemma of the two laws.  The world will always be with us, getting in our way, blocking our path, pulling us or pushing us off to one side or the other as we try to meet the challenge of improving the world and ourselves.  Be prepared for a lifelong fight against the law of sin, which seeks to thwart our good intentions and make us do that which we would rather not do.

            Paul reaches the height (depth?) of despair near the end when he says, “Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?”  The pain Paul felt at the beginning of this passage has increased.  Wretchedness is his condition.  Hopelessness is his outlook.

            But then—then come the words of hope.

            “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

            There it is!  We know who will deliver him—and us; who will help us follow the law of God.  Jesus Christ is Paul’s Savior—and ours.  Jesus Christ will strengthen our desire to improve the world, and weaken our desire to succumb to it.